That’s my experience here.  These last few months have been somewhat difficult, because makign friends has been difficult.

Oh, believe me, I’ve tried.  But the culture of life here means people are in their cars more. Even dropping Phoenix to school, I don’t get out of the car.  Only at pick up do I “interact” with others, but if you don’t already know someone, you might be at the line the whole time without talking with anyone.  And of course, the fact we’ve been attending a large church hasn’t helped in us getting to know people, cause we’re always in large crowds, without many chances to talk to others.

So, it’s been a nice surprise to start to develop a friendship with one of Phoenix’ friends’ mom.  We’d see each other in line, and say hi.  She always smiled, and seemed friendly.  Then one day, I ran into her while going into a nearby supermarket, and we talked just a bit more.

About a month ago, we planned a play date for the Matt and Phoenix, and we met at the library.  It was the perfect place, as the boys looked at books, and we got to talk.

Since then, Sue and I have gone out for coffee twice, and the fact that she just moved to the area helps us connect to each other better, as “outsiders”.  I think we’re gonna make it a regular thing on our schedules.  It’s nice to have someone to go get coffee with.  It makes me feel at home.  It makes me feel like I have connections.  It makes me feel like I’m not isolated in my own house.

I’ve also now officially joined the choir.  I had to “audition” to see where I’d fit in best.  Then I’ve been attending chour rehearsals and sand on sunday morning for the past 2 sundays.  It feels great to be starting to get involved in something with the church.   It’s also nice to be in a choir setting.  It’d been so long since I was reading music, and singing with a group.  I didn’t know I missed it til I was doing it.

My college experience was different, and even rare, as I attended college in New York City.  Hardly anyone dormed, and we all had to go our very different ways after classes were over.  The overarching similarities were our artists’ souls, and that helped to seal the deal.  The core group I became friends were from: New Jersey, Yonkers, Long Island, the Bronx, and one dorm guy and me, from Queens.  Talk about picking people from all over the place.  But yet we formed some strong friendships, and though it’s been 13 years since I graduated college, I can say that I even spoke to one of those friends last week.  That’s not to say we are all together all the time, but the bond is strong, and I know that we are all special to one another.

I’ve been blessed, though, to have made some extraordinary friendships even after college.  I think it’s my “social butterfly” type personality.  I so need my friends.  That’s why this move is proving to be more difficult on me than I could have imagined.  The fact that I’m either mostly by myself(or with Phoenix) and then I’m in large group-like activities doesn’t help the “making friends” opportunities.

Luckily, though, I think today I might have made a “real” friend.  It’s one of Phoenix’s classmates’ mom.  They just moved here too, and I invited them to join us for a play date at the library.  She was someone whom from the very first few days I talked with her, she always came across as friendly, and always has a smile.  So, after the time at the library today, we even discussed getting together for coffee and having other play dates.  I think this will work.  This makes me happy! Yay!

More art later….